on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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