He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just threw up on my dentist
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
