You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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