About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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