My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize