Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
