Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
