I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
