I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
