Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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