So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
