I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize