Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
