Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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