If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
