Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
