WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
