so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
