I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
