fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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