You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
