who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
