i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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