Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Come share oat with me in your robe
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
