Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
