Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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