I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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