Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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