Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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