she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
