we have officially lost it.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Randomize
