Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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