i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
