is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
