Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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