wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
