so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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