so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize