She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize