2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
