If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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