I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
