Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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