i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
