the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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