Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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