Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
