we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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