he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
