I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i drank out of a bidet.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
