I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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