im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize