sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
