So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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