anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
