Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
