Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
