at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just invented taco cereal.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
