Who wears a wallet chain?!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
